10 Reasons Why Staying in a Hostel is the Absolute Worst

Hostels have a bad reputation in America for being dirty, disgustingly cheap places where you go if you want all your possessions taken from you.  You may even end up getting kidnapped while staying in a hostel and locked in a dungeon getting your fingers chopped off with a pair of pliers. Well with years of experience in and out of many hostels, I’m here to tell you that you are right! Read on to discover why staying in a hostel is the absolute worst.


Meeting people from around the world blows


staying in a hostel
New Friends in Ireland

Different Cultures? Yuck!  Just let me hang out with people exactly like me from my part of the world.


Paying $10 a night for a dorm bed? I’m not homeless


staying in a hostel
Good times are totally not worth $10

Please. How else am I supposed to travel for two years straight? Take me to the nearest Marriot. 


They have communal kitchens. I’m in a different country, all meals should be eaten out!


staying in a hostel
Almost time to eat in Auckland

Again, I’m on a budget, and how am I expected to cook with all those poor commoners around.


Partying is for douchebags.


The hostel organizes daily pub crawls and has a bar, beer pong table, and free shots on arrival?  Just how old do you think I am?


Because having people to explore the unknown city with is so 2012.


staying in a hostel
Gathered up the room and dived the Great Barrier Reef

I have to sleep in the same room as 10 other men and women, and now they are asking me if I want to hang out and grab some lunch.  Does it say “loser” on my forehead? I’d rather be alone – thanks.


That common room with 150 uploaded movies looks uncomfortable anyway.


staying in a hostel
New Friends in Japan!

There are too many people talking and laughing in the common area. I’d rather sit on my laptop alone in my bed and binge watch The Kardashians.


The staff born and raised in Rome totally don’t know what they’re talking about.


staying in a hostel
Miran, our Bosnian hostel owner and myself.


My guidebook with the paragraph exert on the city is way better with directions than the 25-year-old local. He totally doesn’t know what he is talking about.


I’ve never been much for hanging out with people my own age.


staying in a hostel
All girls dorm in Cairns, Australia

The 50-year-olds at the hotels are much more refined. What are those twenty-somethings gonna tell me that I don’t already know?


Haven’t you seen the movie HOSTEL!?


staying in a hostel
Enjoying the food and company in Sicily

You expect me to stay at a place where they torture poor innocent backpackers like myself for enjoyment? You should really brush up on your Hollywood film knowledge.  I mean movies are just like real life.  


Free WiFi is such a hassle.


staying in a hostel
Excellent connection in Poland.

This is 2015 not 2045. Do they really need to offer me free and fast internet access to attract me? I always had a thing for the AOL man with the alien-like dial up sound. He’s so cute!


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